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VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

LAZY : Just fizzles

AMIABLE : Likes to smell others' farts

PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

CARELESS : Farts in church

SMART ASS : Farts when ladies are present

CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole

TIMID : Jumps when he farts

CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself

FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

BEWILDERED : Can't tell his own fart from others

NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

MISERABLE : Can't fart at all

CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can't tell which way to go

GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart

SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

DISSAPOINTED : Fart doesn't smell

CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shat

DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife's head

MUSICAL : Tenor or Base, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell

ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

INTELLECTUAL : Can determine the smell of his neighbours' fart

WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

Copyright 1999 Food God Productions. All rights reserved. If you are reading this, you suck. Why read this. Go look at something else bunghole. Yeah, you heard me!! I called you a bunghole!!.........How does it feel?