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Aired on July 15, 1994

Beavis: Hey! Butthead. How come we're going to Stewart's house?

Butthead: 'Cuz I heard he's got diarrhea.

Beavis: Oh. Yeah. heh heh

Stuart's mom: Thank you boys for bringing Stewart's homework to school for him. He's sooo sick. He spent all night in the bathroom.

Butthead: Really? Diarrhoea?

Stuart's mom: Yes, I'm afraid so.

Beavis & Butthead: heh heh ..... heh heh (Beavis imitates taking a dump)

Stuart's mom: Now boys.... come on. Say, have you boys eaten breakfast?

Butthead: Uhhhhhhh....

Beavis: Ummmmmmmmmm, I think I did once.

Stuart's mom: Well, you can't go to school on an empty stomach. Heeeeere. I made some breakfast burritos for Stewart. He's not feeling well enough to eat.

Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast!

Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool!

Stuart's mom: You boys eat up. I'm going to check on Stewart. He probably needs more "T.P."

Butthead: Hey, Beavis. Ya think she's gonna put a thermometer up his butt?

Beavis: Yeah! And then she's gonna put it in his mouth!!

Beavis & Butthead: heh heh .... heh heh (eating burritos)


Butthead: What the hell is this crap? Ptui! This isn't a burrito!

Beavis: Yeah. I got eggs in mine! She tricked us!

Butthead: No wonder Stewart's got diarrhea.

Beavis: Yeah. heh heh..... Let's see what else they have.

Butthead: This sucks! There's nothing good here. (Beavis finds where the sugar is kept) Hey! Buttmunch.... give me some...

Beavis: No way, punk! (Hyper attack)

Butthead: Settle down, Beavis..... pretty cool.

(Beavis having a Hyper Fit...)

Mr. Van Dreesen: It's ironic that we in this country who cherish freedom occasionally support governments who are less responsive to human rights. We're very fortunate.....(FADE OUT)....

Butthead: What's your problem Beavis? Settle down.

Mr. Van Dreesen: ...the struggle for freedom is by no means over. It still goes on today in places like.... Nicaragua... El Salvador... and Panama.

Beavis: (shirt over head) NIC..AR..A..GUA. Agua....Agua for my bunghole.... buunnghooooole!

Mr. Van Dreesen: Beavis! Please sit down...

Beavis: Are you threatening me? I AM CORNHOLIO!

Mr. Van Dreesen: Come on Beavis. Take your seat... Now, technically America is not a democracy but a republic....

Beavis: (to Daria) have T.P.? T.P. for my bunghole?

Daria: Get out of here Beavis.

Beavis: Ummmmmmm. Okay. Heh heh ... heh heh... (walks out of class) I AM CORNHOLIO. I need T.P. for my bunghooooole. Bunghoooole!

Mr. Van Dreesen: Uh... Beavis... where are you going?...... Where did Beavis go?

Butthead: Heh heh ... heh heh... that was cooooool. Heh heh ..

Beavis: (HALLWAY) Bunnnnnghooooole.... heh heh!! (to janitor) I AM CORNHOLIO! I need T.P. for my bunghole. heh..heh..yeah.... heh heh... Hey! Would you like to seeeeee my bunghole? heh heh heh....

Mr. Van Dreesen: Butthead... where did Beavis go?

Butthead: Uhhh... I dunno...

Mr. Van Dreesen: Is Beavis having some kind of a problem I should know about?

Butthead: Uhhhh... he ate like 27 candy bars and then like drank a 6-pack of root beer!

Mr. Van Dreesen: Hmmmmm.... that's strange. I just read about a study that says sugar isn't supposed to cause hyperactivity.

Beavis: (GIRLS RESTROOM) Heh heh.... heh ... ahhhhhhh.... heh heh heh.. yeah! This'll be cool... (enters bathroom) I AM CORNHOLIO!!! Whoa... that was cool heh heh.. I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE!! heh heh COME OUT WITH YOUR PANTS DOWN!! (looks under stalls) Oh... yeah. Uhhh nevermind.

Beavis: Nicaragua.... arriba.... andelay.... I AM CORNHOLIO!! I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!!

Spanish teacher: Senor Beavis! Donde esta tu hallpass?

Beavis: Are you threatening me? You will give my T.P. ... bungholio!

Spanish teacher: Beavis.... just what in the hell do you think you are doing?

Beavis: DO NOT MAKE MY BUNGHOLE ANGRY! Do you have any oleo?

Spanish teacher: Get the hell outta my class and go straight to the principal's office. NOW!

Beavis: Ummmmmmm.... okay. THE PRINCIPAL.... he will give me T.P.! heh heh I would hate for my bungholio to get polio... Where I come from we have no bunghole... heh heh heh heh

Spanish teacher: "Ahhh, las luces aprendidas, pero nadie en casa....." (The lights are on, but nobody's home....)

McVicker: Uhhhh... look! I don't know what your problem is... but I simply cannot have students wandering the hallways during class, interrupting other classes and giving prophesies of a great plague. Beavis Oh... yeah. Sorry 'bout that.

McVicker: Wait! What was that? Did you just say you were sorry?

Beavis: Ummmmmmmmm..... ummmmmmmmm

McVicker: You did! You just said you were sorry. Uh... didn't you?

Beavis: Uhhhh... yeah. heh heh...

McVicker:(Sad Music) You see! I knew it. You kids have never apologized to me once! Maybe this is a new day for you. Maybe punishment isn't the answer! I'm gonna let you go. Ya know... I'm actually proud of you today. Take some candy with you.... (Beavis leaves)

Secretary: Now, you're going right back to class, right Beavis?

Beavis: Yeah... uhhhhh... no. NO! I must get T.P. for my bunghole! (pulls shirt over head) I am the great Cornholio!!! heh heh .... heh heh

Secretary: Do you need a hall pass?

Beavis: Are you threatening me? heh heh... yeah! I need no hall pass. (Leaves) I heed holio for my bunghole! (WANDERING THE HALLS, SAD MUSIC) I am the great Cornholio! I have no bunghole! BUNGHOLEEEIIIOOOOO! I need T.P. for my bunghole! We are without bungholes!

Copyright 1999 Food God Productions. All rights reserved. If you are reading this, you suck. Why read this. Go look at something else bunghole. Yeah, you heard me!! I called you a bunghole!!.........How does it feel?