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- Subject: Beavis and Butt-Head Rolling Stone Interview
- Beavis and Butt-Head on What's Cool and What Sucks
- [By Charles M. Young, Rolling Stone, August 19, 1993]
- CY: Charles M. Young
- BH: Butt-Head
- B : Beavis
- CY:
- You're selling more posters than "Jurassic Park." You're getting all-time high ratings on MTV. What does your success say about the current culture of American teenagers?
- BH:
- Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- B :
- He said "suck." Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- BH:
- Huh-huh. Uh...could you repeat the question?
- CY:
- What I'm getting at is, there's a whole new group of kids in junior high now, and your success -
- BH:
- Huh-huh. He said it again.
- B :
- Yeah. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- Let me put it another way. Just this morning I watched a psychologist on TV talk about the horrible effect that heavy metal has on kids. Do you ever consider the influence you're having on today's youth?
- BH:
- Uh...uh...well, I like to burn stuff, but that doesn't mean -
- B :
- I like it when stuff blows up and knocks people over. Huh-huh.
- BH: [Smacks Beavis on the head]
- Shut up, Beavis. I was saying something. Huh-huh. Uh...what was I saying?
- CY:
- Your influence on today's youth.
- BH:
- What's today?
- CY:
- Tuesday.
- BH:
- Oh, yeah. What was I saying?
- CY:
- Your effect on young people. You said you liked to burn stuff.
- BH:
- Whoa! You must have one of those pornographic memories! Huh-huh. Uh...I like to burn stuff, but that doesn't mean *you* have to. Huh-huh, huh-huh. It would be cool if you did, though.
- B :
- Yeah. Huh-huh. Fire! Fire! Fire!
- CY:
- So what's the coolest thing you've ever burned?
- BH:
- Uh...Beavis's eyebrows. Huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah, that was pretty cool. Huh-huh. It smelled cool, too.
- CY:
- Why was that so cool?
- BH:
- It was, like, unexpectant? We were torching a June bug with a can of Lysol and a lighter, and it ended up burning Beavis's face. Huh-huh, huh-huh. It was like a bonus.
- B :
- Huh-huh. I burned my bonus.
- CY:
- Well, let me ask you this: Do you guys find anything funny that isn't scatological?
- BH:
- Uh...sure. Lots of stuff. Like, uh, butts are funny.
- CY:
- Anything besides butts?
- B :
- Farts are funny. Because they come out of your butt. Huh-huh.
- BH:
- Did you know any time anyone is born, they come out right next to a butt? Huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah. Even the president of the Unites States.
- CY:
- So what's your point?
- BH:
- Well, uh...that's pretty cool. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- What do you think of the disclaimer MTV sometimes runs before your show?
- BH:
- It's cool.
- CY:
- Do you know what I'm talking about?
- BH:
- Uh...no. Huh-huh.
- CY:
- Those words MTV runs before the show warning people about you.
- B :
- Words suck.
- BH:
- Yeah. If I wanted to read, I'd go to school.
- B :
- So, like, what do they say?
- CY:
- They say you're crude, self-destructive and anti-social, but for some reason you make them laugh.
- BH:
- Cool! Huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah. MTV's cool.
- CY:
- Even though the censors in their standards department won't let you say certain words?
- BH:
- Yeah. MTV's cool - for a bunch of wussies. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- B :
- We can say "ass wipe."
- BH:
- Not very often.
- B :
- We can say "asshole."
- BH:
- No we can't, Beavis.
- B :
- Are you calling me a liar?
- BH:
- No I'm calling you a waste of bum wipe.
- B :
- We can say "butthole." Butthole! Butthole! Butthole!
- BH:
- Shut up! MTV will fire you!
- B :
- Fire! Fire! Fire!
- BH:
- Settle down, Beavis!
- CY:
- You seem to watch a lot of TV. Do you think television depicts an accurate view of the world?
- BH:
- Uh...like, are you really with the Rolling Stones?
- CY:
- I'm with "Rolling Stone," the magazine.
- BH:
- So, uh, do you get lots of chicks?
- B :
- Hey, Butt-Head, when chicks find out we know someone with the Stones, we'll get some helmet. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- I'm with the magazine "Rolling Stone." I'm a writer, not a musician.
- B :
- Wuss.
- BH:
- So you don't get any chicks?
- CY:
- Not like Mick Jagger.
- B :
- Mick Jagger's not a chick.
- BH:
- He didn't say he was a chick, Beavis. He said he doesn't *get* chicks.
- B :
- He said he doesn't get chicks like Mick Jagger.
- BH:
- That's right. Not like Mick Jagger.
- B :
- But Mick Jagger's not a chick.
- BH:
- Don't make me kick your ass again, Beavis.
- B :
- You know who looks like a chick? Huh-huh. Vince Neil.
- BH:
- Yeah. Huh-huh. And Dave Mustaine.
- B :
- Yeah. That's why he wears glasses. So he doesn't look too much like a girl. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- What do glasses have to do with masculinity?
- BH:
- You know what you should do to, like, get chicks? Since you're a wuss? Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- What?
- BH:
- You should get some binoculars and stand outside this apartment building we know and look in the windows. Huh-huh.
- CY:
- How would that help me get chicks?
- BH:
- Sometimes you can see 'em naked. Huh-hu, huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah. Huh-huh. Or you could go to Bible camp and hug chicks when they find Jesus.
- BH:
- That would be cool. Huh-huh. "Give us this day our morning wood." Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- What kind of music do you like?
- BH:
- Uh...uh...all different kinds.
- B :
- Yeah. Like *loud* music.
- BH:
- Yeah. And music that *rocks*! Huh-huh.
- B :
- Music that kicks *ass*! Huh-huh. And fire music! Fire! Fire!
- CY:
- What's fire music?
- B :
- Oh, sorry, I was thinking about videos.
- BH:
- I also like music that's about stuff. Huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah. Like that rap song about that guy who likes big butts.
- BH:
- Yeah. That one speaks to me. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- The rumor is, you guys have the same father.
- BH:
- Uh...we're not sure. It's possible. Huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah. Huh-huh. He used to come around a lot.
- CY:
- Are the two of you friends with anyone besides each other?
- B :
- We're not friends.
- BH:
- Beavis has a special friend. Huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah. Huh-huh.
- BH:
- Sometimes he shakes hands with Little Beavis.
- B :
- Yeah. [Pathetic attempt at Pakistani accent] "Hello, Meester Monkey." Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- BH:
- Huh-huh. That was cool.
- CY:
- Well, you two sound pretty friendly.
- BH:
- We just do lots of stuff together. Huh-huh.
- B :
- Just cool stuff.
- BH:
- Yeah. I like stuff that's cool.
- CY:
- Well, there must be a lot of cool stuff to do, because as far as I can tell, you two spend every moment of your life together.
- BH:
- That's 'cause Beavis follows me around.
- B :
- *You* follow *me* around.
- BH:
- Only when I'm gonna kick your ass.
- B :
- When you're gonna *lick* my ass?
- BH:
- Shut up, booger wipe!
- B :
- Peckerwood!
- CY:
- Hey, break it up! Butt-Head, I have a question for you. I noticed that you often say, "I like stuff that's cool." But isn't that circular logic? I mean, what is the definition of "cool," other than an adjective denoting something the speaker likes?
- BH:
- Huh-huh. Uh, did you, like, go to college?
- CY:
- You don't have to go to college to know the definition of "redundant." What I'm saying is that essentially what you're saying is "I like stuff that I like."
- B :
- Yeah. Huh-huh. Me, too.
- BH:
- Also, I don't like stuff that sucks, either.
- CY:
- But nobody likes stuff that sucks!
- BH:
- Then why does so much stuff suck?
- B :
- Yeah. College boy! Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- BH:
- Huh-huh, huh-huh. Uh, I have a question for you.
- CY:
- Go ahead.
- BH:
- Pull my finger.
- CY:
- That's not a question.
- BH:
- Huh-huh. Uh...would you please pull my finger?
- CY:
- Oh, all right.
- [Butt-Head farts loudly.]
- BH:
- Huh-huh, huh-huh. That's cool.
- B :
- I taught him that joke. Huh-huh.
- BH:
- I taught *you* that joke, bunghole!
- B :
- But I taught you the part about where you fart.
- BH:
- Oh, right, you did. Huh-huh, huh-huh. That's my favorite part.
- CY:
- I have just a couple more things I'd like to cover.
- BH:
- Huh-huh. He said "things."
- B :
- He said "couple." Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- CY:
- When I was your age, the big event that formed the values of my entire generation was the Vietnam War.
- BH:
- Yeah. Huh-huh. Rambo was cool!
- CY:
- So I was wondering if there was some similar experience, some unifying event, that has affected your life.
- BH:
- Uh...well, once we bought this bullwhip at Stucky's? And we went around looking for stuff to whip. But like we couldn't find anything. No frogs or lizards or nothing.
- B :
- We tried a bag of charcoal, but it wasn't alive.
- BH:
- We found this big old grasshopper in the middle of the road. It was really big. It was like a freak grasshopper. Huh-huh. We whipped it and whipped it.
- B :
- Yeah, yeah. And then I kicked it. Huh-huh.
- BH:
- We slapped it around like a red-headed stepchild. Huh-huh, huh-huh. And then it looked like it was dead 'cause it hadn't moved in like an hour? And then all of a sudden these little white worms started crawling out of its butt, one by one. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- B :
- Yeah. They looked like long-grain rice. It's like they were trapped inside this grasshopper, and we came along and set 'em free.
- BH:
- Huh-huh. Uh...they crawled out of its *butt*!
- CY:
- You're comparing the Vietnam War to worms crawling out of a grasshopper's butt? How could that affect your life?
- BH:
- Well, uh...if that hadn't happened, we would have had to, like, do something else.
- CY:
- Well, I suppose it's pointless to ask this, but-
- BH:
- Huh-huh. You said "butt."
- CY:
- What advice do you have for America's youth?
- B :
- Uh...sometimes at the arcade? If you rub your feet on the ground and touch the coin slot, it makes a spark and you get a free game. Huh-huh.
- BH:
- Huh-huh. Uh...I got one. Like if you go to school and, like, study and stuff? And grow up and get a job at a company and, like, get promoted? You have to go there and do stuff that sucks for the rest of your life.
- B :
- Yeah. You'll be trapped, just like those worms in that grasshopper's butt. Huh-huh, huh-huh. And then people will whip you, and you'll come crawling out and -
- BH:
- Shut up, Beavis! Huh-huh. But what I was saying is, if you act like us and just do stuff that's cool? Like sit around and watch TV and burn stuff?
- B :
- And choke your chicken. Huh-huh-huh.
- BH:
- Yeah. Huh-huh. And choke your chicken. Then, ROLLING STONE magazine will come and kiss your butt!
- CY:
- Huh-huh. You said "come."
- B :
- Yeah. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- Beavis & Butt-Head:
- Huh-huh, huh-huh. Huh-huh, huh-huh. Huh-huh, huh-huh. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
- BH:
- That was cool!
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